joeyjoe69:

seeing assholes u used to be friends with like

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  • 3 hours ago
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  • 3 hours ago
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faraashah:

if my husband doesn’t cry when he sees me on our wedding day I will softy kick him in the shin until he sheds a tear 

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  • 3 hours ago
  • 259342

appetisers:

HOW DO PEOPLE FALL ASLEEP SO FAST I DON’T UNDERSTAND I HAVE TO CREATE AND ACT OUT A WHOLE FUCKING MOVIE LENGTH STORY IN MY HEAD AND THEN CONTEMPLATE THE MEANING OF LIFE BEFORE I EVEN FEEL TIRED AND THIS BITCH STARTS SNORING IN TWO MINUTES

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  • 3 hours ago
  • 689503

in the shower

  • me:that's not quite hot enough let me just turn it up to boiling lava.
  • me:yes good i shall bathe in the waters of mordor.
  • me:why do we have like 25 different kinds of shampoo?
  • me:i'ma read the back of this.
  • me:lather, rinse, repeat?
  • me:why do i have to repeat is your product so shitty it didn't work the first time?
  • me:hold the fuck up i have to write fanfic in my head real quick.
  • me:if water is a renewable resource does that mean every celebrity i've ever loved has showered in this same water before?
  • me:eheheheheheheheheheh.
  • me:but you didn't have to cUT ME OFF.
  • me:did i already wash my hair?
  • me:i think i did but i don't remember.
  • me:i'ma do it again.
  • me:FUCK I REPEATED.
  • me:well played, pantene pro-v. WELL PLAYED
  • me:i wonder what it's like to have sex in the shower.
  • me:i bet it's awkward.
  • me:i bet a lot of injuries happen that way.
  • me:okay time to get out.
  • me:
  • me:
  • me:where the fuck is my towel.
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  • 3 hours ago
  • 424329

plasticbagvevo:

when you ask your followers to send you asks, but none of them do

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  • 3 hours ago
  • 29326

w0ndurland:

georgemallory:

nothing will fuck you up as much as the realization that there’s no real reason the alphabet needs to be in order

I HATE THIS TEXT POST

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  • 3 hours ago
  • 357235

tardisy-wardisy:

wubatomicparticle:

tumblr is literally the result of putting teenagers together without any adult supervision whatsoever

well it was either this or lord of the flies

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  • 3 hours ago
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  • 3 hours ago
  • 22458

How to win every argument

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  • 3 hours ago
  • 35

I like how on Tumblr we all have lots of sass but in real life we can’t say hi without fucking up.

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  • 3 hours ago
  • 679230

scythfi-writer:

raddlest:

those people that u love so much and want to talk to them all the time but u feel like ur annoying them

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Chances are that two people who reblogged this were thinking about each other

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  • 3 hours ago
  • 23445
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